Friday Five

Five things I’m into right now…

I got this fun idea from Nina Badzin. I hope she doesn’t mind if I take this topic and add my own two cents (or five as in this case).

1. Downton Abbey. Like Nina, I’m completely on the bandwagon for this Masterpiece Classic. Everywhere I go people are talking about it. My co-workers, my hairdresser, the dude on the subway with his sideways baseball cap (come on, buddy).What? You haven’t seen it? Start with season 1 because the plot builds. Pop some popcorn and find a comfy chair because you’ll be hooked. All episodes are online at PBS.org.

So go watch already. Then after you’ve met Mr. Pamuk, let’s talk!

2. Stuff You Missed in History Class. Whenever I take Reggie for a long walk, I listen to one of these 20 minute podcasts. Each episode tackles a different topic from Al Capone to the origins of the Christmas tree. If only my college history TA had made his lectures this interesting instead of showing us videos so he could nap while trying to get over a raging hangover. But that’s another post.

The podcasts are hosted by How Stuff Works.com, so if you don’t groove on history, they have other series: Stuff of Genius (inventions), Stuff Your Mom Never Told You (differences between the sexes), TechStuff (gadgets), How to Stuff (steps for everything from how to repair a toilet to how to create your own podcast).

3. Van Gogh. Speaking of the history podcasts, I just listened to a great episode about Van Gogh.  It interested me for a few reasons:

One of the paintings Vincent created while at the sanitarium.

(1) I’m interested to learn how it seemed he was able to channel his mental illness to creativity. (He had produced some 1,400 paintings and sketches and had only sold one in his lifetime.)

(2) I’m curious as to some of the incidents we accept as fact about Van Gogh may not be true. For example, he may not have cut off his own ear in the midst of a seizure. All signs point to fellow painter, anger-crazed Gauguin, having done it in a joke-turned-compeition gone wrong. Also a book was published last year which posits that Van Gogh did not kill himself in the wheat fields near Arles, but that some local kids were messing around and the gun accidentally went off. (It took him two days to die from his wounds.)

(3) I’m hoping to go to the Van Gogh museum when I am in Amsterdam this spring. So I’ll have to learn how to pronounce Van Gogh the proper way like I have a lot of phlegm in the back of my throat. Van Gochkshs. Okay, that was uncalled for. I’m feeling a bit irreverent this morning.

4. Pret A Manger. When MTV moves some of their divisions into your office building, the neighborhood starts looking up. Before, we had one greasy spoon diner and one buffet place where the sneeze guard left you feeling queasy. Now, it seems retailers and restauranteurs don’t want to miss out on the Lady Gaga quotient. (She caused a near-riot of groupies when she was in the building last summer.) We have food trucks galore parking on the block at lunchtime, a Starbucks, a drugstore and Pret A Manger.

Pret has locations around the world, but I think they’re only in a few cities in the US right now. The food is good and the workers are…wait for it…nice. They smile. They look like they are happy to be there. They ask you how you’re doing. They listen to your answer.  This may be no big deal for you folks who live in kinder, gentler places. (I envy you.) But here sometimes people ring up your purchases as if they are out for revenge or something. Once I had a cashier walk away from the register because I was taking too long to get change out of my wallet. She never came back. Another time I pointed out that a cashier had rung up $8.99 for an item instead of $3.99. She acknowledged the mistake and then yelled at me.

I have actually left money in the tip jar for the folks at Pret. I *heart* you, Pret.

5. Liga Masiva. Some people have suggested that I am addicted to coffee. Just because I start twitching and get headaches if I skip my morning cup, doesn’t mean I can’t stop any ol’ time I want. Not that I’m going to, but if I wanted to I could. But I don’t want to. Get off my back.

Anyway. Liga Masiva acts as an online farmers’ market.  They connect organic growers in the Dominican Republic directly with addicts coffee drinkers like me. They facilitate bringing the beans to market in a responsible way so that the growers get a fair wage. Then some folks from the nabe, Brooklyn Roasting Company, roast the beans to order. They pack ‘em up and ship ‘em to you within hours. It’s a wonderful business model and a delicious cup of coffee.

What are some things you’re into these days? 

Have a great weekend, everyone! 

Friday Five

1. Need a smile this morning? This is sure to perk you up almost as much as that triple espresso. Here, a motley crew of dogs “barks” the theme to Star Wars. May the force be with you.

2. Tip-toe through the tulips. You ever have a Norma Rae moment at the office? Or do you find yourself humming a few bars to the song “Take This Job and Shove It” while trying to get the !@#*% copier to work?  Lately I’ve had more than my share of those days, and when I do, I go to my happy place. At the moment, it is The Netherlands because I just nailed down the dates of my trip this spring.

A few years ago, my friend and I went on a fantastic trip to Iceland. (Read my Icelandic Friday Five here. See #4 for mention of our wonderful new friends.) While on a ferry we met fellow travelers from The Netherlands, and hit it off. So now, we’re heading over to the land of tulips, canals and red-light districts to visit them. I can’t wait!

Have you been to The Netherlands? Any suggestions on where to stay or eat? What would you do while there? 

 

3. If I’ve been a bit absent from posting lately, it’s because I’ve been dreaming up ways to win the lottery completing my lesson plans for the online creative writing course I’m teaching through The Loft Literary Center. Twelve awesome writers have signed up! Class starts on Monday, January 23, so there’s still time to join the fun and get some writing practice in the process.

 

4.  Every morning I get a little gem of inspiration in my inbox from Daily Om. This week, there was a blurb that particularly caught my attention since I’ve been preparing my class notes and thinking a lot about the creative process:

Many people move through life unaware of the presence of their muse. This lack of awareness can be compounded by the fact that we may have one muse that remains with us throughout our lives, multiple muses that inspire us concurrently, several muses that come and go as necessary, or a single muse that touches us briefly at specific moments. You will know that you have found your muse when you encounter a force that makes you feel courageous enough to broaden the range of your creativity. The presence of this force will erase your self-doubt and motivate you to give your thoughts and feelings form. 

 Do you believe that people have a muse? Do you listen to your muse? Have you ever felt that a muse was guiding your work? 

 

5. What do you fear about failure? J.K. Rowling’s answer would be that your should fear not failing because then it means you’re playing your life too safe.  She offers this piece of advice to a Harvard University graduating glass while describing her own failure. You may know her as the author of the Harry Potter series, but for years she lived in poverty after a failed marriage with her only escape a yellow legal pad on which to write the story in her mind’s eye. Her only other advice is to keep a sense of imagination, or what I would call compassion. She describes her first job working in the Amnesty International office in London and how empathizing with the people who came seeking asylum has served her in every aspect of her life since. It’s an inspiring commencement address that really invigorated me.  (Cocktail party factoid: her agent advised her to go by her initials rather than her full name because, at the time, women fantasy writers weren’t taken as seriously.)

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

 

Friday Five

1. I’m a winner! Nina Badzin was hosting a book giveaway on her blog and I was one of the winners. Honestly I can’t remember ever winning a raffle before. The book is MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche. When Rachel moved to Chicago to be with her husband, she hadn’t considered one important thing: how hard it can be to make new friends. Instead of leaving it to chance, she approached meeting new friends in the same way one might look for a mate (in 2012 anyway). Rachel went on 52 “friend dates” – one for each week of the year – and compiled her experiences, along with research from the latest studies on friendship, into this book.

Thank you, Nina, for sending me this book. I’m looking forward to reading it.

 

2. On her blog, The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin often talks about friendship as one of the pillars of happiness. She says, “Strong social ties are a key — arguably the key — to happiness. You need close, long-term relationships; you need to be able to confide in others; you need to belong; you need to get and give support. Studies show that if you have five or more friends with whom to discuss an important matter you’re far more likely to describe yourself as ‘very happy.’”

She points out time and again that in order to have friends we have to make an effort to nurture our relationships. It sounds obvious of course, but in our busy lives, that’s something that can often fall by the wayside. Women tend to require more interaction from their friend relationships than men. (Rachel describes women’s friendships as face-to-face, as in meeting over coffee or dinner, while men’s friendships are side-by-side, as in watching a baseball game together.)

I just started Rachel’s book, but I’m struck by how hard, read: how much effort, it can be to make new friends and maintain existing friendships as we get older. I think it’s because there’s so much going on in our day-to-day lives, making new friends is not something on our to-do list. Watching my friends who have young kids, it seems to be easier because they’re usually involved with other parents and automatically have something in common. What if you don’t have kids, or your kids are grown?  A few months ago, Gretchen posted 8 tips for making friends, one of which is to say nice things about other people because you’ll be linked to that quality. (All of you reading this post right now are the nicest, most hilarious, most beautiful people I know!) She also has 8 tips for maintaining friendships.

Do you think it’s more difficult to make new friends as you get older? Or have a life shift (marriage, baby, new city, etc)? Do you have any tips maintaining or making new friends? 

 

3. Tip of the week: When renewing your passport, do not, under any circumstances, compare your new photo to your old photo from ten years ago. Exception: you have a bag of M&Ms and a box of tissues standing by.

 

4. Looking for a family saga that is complex and rich and makes you think that your own family isn’t all that bad? Read Maine, by J. Courtney Sullivan. I listened to this audio book on my drive to Tennessee and had moments when I was tearing up, then laughing, then shaking my head. I’m sure people pulling up next to me thought I was losing it.

Here is a bit from the jacket copy: For the Kellehers, Maine is a place where children run in packs, showers are taken outdoors, and old Irish songs are sung around a piano at night. Their beachfront property, won on a barroom bet after the war, sits on three acres of sand and pine nestled between stretches of rocky coast, with one tree bearing the initials “A.H.” At the cottage, built by Kelleher hands, cocktail hour follows morning mass, nosy grandchildren snoop in drawers, and decades-old grudges simmer beneath the surface. As three generations of Kelleher women descend on the property one summer, each brings her own hopes and fears. Maggie is thirty-two and pregnant, waiting for the perfect moment to tell her imperfect boyfriend the news; Ann Marie, a Kelleher by marriage, is channeling her domestic frustration into a dollhouse obsession and an ill-advised crush; Kathleen, the black sheep, never wanted to set foot in the cottage again; and Alice, the matriarch at the center of it all, would trade every floorboard for a chance to undo the events of one night, long ago.

I was struck by the author’s deftness of characterization. The book alternates between four points of view and each woman has a distinct voice with her own wants and needs. They each have their own complex emotional pull. You can open the book to a random page and immediately know the character speaking, that’s how well defined they are. The last time I remember reading a novel with that kind of richness was The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver.  Some reviews have called this a great summertime read.  (Maybe because it takes place over one summer? That could be why some readers were mislead into thinking this was a lighthearted, beachy novel. It’s not.) No matter when or where, I thought it was a great any-time read.

Read chapter one here.

 

5.  Or maybe you’re looking for something that will make you feel uplifted and positive after the latest episode of The Bachelor? I Am is a documentary written and directed by Tom Shadyac. You may be familiar with his other work such as Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty and The Nutty Professor. Tom lived in a 70,000 square foot mansion in Malibu and lit his fireplace with crisp dollar bills. Maybe the last part isn’t entirely true (he used tens), but you get the picture. A terrible bike accident shifted his perspective and he gave it all up to live a more authentic life. Along he way he decided to interview some of today’s most educated minds, including scientists, philosophers, historians and spiritual leaders, two burning questions: What is wrong with our world, and what can we do about it?

Building on Einstein’s words, “Humanity is going to require a new way of thinking if it is to survive,” Tom Shadyac realized that our current way of thinking is based on notions of separatism. Many of us operate under the assumption that we are separate from each other and separate from the natural world. But really we are all connected. I Am was affirming and it made me feel hopeful. The answers to the questions above might just surprise you.

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Have a great weekend, everyone!

 

Friday Five

1. Do I have a movie for you! The Artist is one of the most entertaining films I’ve seen in a long time, and there are no explosions, no special effects, no fisticuffs. Oh, and no color or words either. It’s a black and white, silent move. I know. You’re thinking, I don’t do those movies. Okay, but give this one a chance and I’d bet you’ll be enchanted just like I was. It wasn’t just me: the folks in my theater actually clapped at the end of the movie.

Set in Hollywood 1927, just as the film industry was changing over to “talkies,” George Valentin (played with panache by French actor Jean Dujardin who looks uncannily like Gene Kelly in Singin’ in the Rain) finds himself obsolete. Valentin is a bit of an egomaniac, but a lovable one. He was the biggest star of his day and now can’t get even a bit part. He ends up in a shabby apartment with only his dog Uggie for company. Valentin is befriended by Peppy Miller, a background dancer turned marquee headliner. But his pride won’t allow him to accept Peppy’s help.

The Artist isn’t cynical, trying to send a message or using the silent, black and white format as a gimmick. But it has a big heart. It’s been a few days since I’ve seen it and I find myself wanting to see it again.

 

2. Last week, I mentioned that I don’t really make New Year’s resolutions. In the past, the ones I made were so vague: eat healthier (see below), watch less television, exercise more. (Probably purposely vague, now that I think about it.) Then by January 10th, I’d forgotten all about it. (Probably purposely forgotten…) I have a feeling I’m not alone in this.

I read a suggestion that instead of a resolution, make a theme for 2012 – a word or two that describes how you’d like to structure your life this year. Then when you’re making a decision or if you’re presented with an opportunity, you can put it into context of how it will be in service of your theme. There’s nothing to give up or beat yourself up over.

I’m going to give it a whirl. For the past year or two or three, I’ve not been focused on my main goal of finishing my novel and finding a new agent. I get distracted by many unimportant things like how many Kardashians there are now or how many M&M’s I can eat in one sitting. So my theme this year is FOCUS. Does it sound a little corny? I’m hoping FOCUS will be my mini mantra and help keep me on track. From time to time, I’ll report on how that’s working out.

If you created a theme for 2012, what would it be? 

 

3. If you’ve watched any television in the past week, you’ve probably seen no fewer than 592 ads for weight loss programs. The favorite buzz word when it comes to eating healthier is “moderation,” but I found Gretchen Rubin’s blog post saying that may not be the way to go. The idea of eating in moderation, she says, means that you limit yourself to small amounts of your favorite foods so you don’t feel deprived. Clearly the person who came up with this concept has never seen me next to a bowl of tortilla chips and guacamole. Eat only one or two chips? That will happen right after Snooki from Jersey Shore cancels her tanning salon appointments.

With that in mind, Gretchen says people can fall into two categories: moderators and abstainers. Obviously, I need to stay far, far away from guacamole.

You’re a moderator if you…
– find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure—and strengthens your resolve
– get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something

You’re an abstainer if you…
– have trouble stopping something once you’ve started
– aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits

Which one are you? Moderator or abstainer? 

 

4.  Mortgage Refinance Saga, Day 109. 

Me: So the hundreds of documents you’ve requested are now in. Can we schedule the closing next week?

Bank: We need a verbal verification of your employment.

Me: My pay stubs aren’t verification enough?

Bank: We need a  verbal verification of your employment within 10 days of closing.

Me: Why didn’t you mention this before now?

Bank: We need a verbal verification of your employment. Please have your employer call the bank not more than 10 days before closing.

Me: But you haven’t given me a closing date. How do I know when 10 days in advance is?

Bank:

Me: Hello? Hello?

 

5. A Great Read for Writers. Ann Patchett, author of Bel Canto and State of Wonder, has some wonderful words of wisdom about the writing life, titled The Getaway Car. I learned about it from Alex George. (He’s the author of the much-anticipated novel  The Good American which, by the way, is going to be the # 1 pick on the IndieBound list for February.) Like Alex, I found Patchett’s essay to be filled with useful suggestions and words of encouragement. I will definitely be referring to it again and again.

On making writing a priority:

I could see the genius in not having given 100 percent of myself over to writing before. It had kept me from ever having to come to terms with how good I was—or wasn’t. As long as something got in the way of writing, I could always look at a finished story and think it could have been a little better if only I hadn’t spent so much time on XYZ. How much better I never knew, because I never knew how much of myself I was holding back.

On forgiveness:

It is the key to making art and very possibly the key to finding any semblance of happiness in life.

I believe that, more than anything else, this grief of constantly having to face down our own inadequacies is what keeps people from being writers. Forgiveness, therefore, is key. I can’t write the book I want to write, but I can and will write the book I am capable of writing. Again and again throughout the course of my life I will forgive myself.

On being your own worst critic:

The part of my brain that makes art and the part that judges that art had to be separated. While I was writing, I was not allowed to judge. That was the law.

The essay is only available in downloadable format to your e-reader or computer ($2.99). Check it out on Byliner to read an excerpt and then order from your usual retailer.

Do you have any books or essays that have served as your writing bible? 

Have a great weekend, everyone! 

Shine: Celebrity Spotlight

Let’s start 2012 off feeling great with a new SHINE post. Well, maybe you need to down that bloody mary first if you had a raucous New Year’s Eve. I promise I won’t shout or slam any doors.

As you regulars know, my goal with the SHINE posts is to feature everyday folks who are doing extraordinary things. Today, I’m shaking it up a bit. (It is the start of a new year, after all!) Headlines often highlight shallow and vapid celebrities, so why not turn the tables and shine a light on a few who are using their fame and fortune for good.

_______________________________________________

Dolly Parton

You probably know Dolly Parton from the worlds of music and film. If you live in the South, you’re probably also familiar with her Gatlinburg, Tennessee, amusement park called Dollywood. And I’ll bet over the years you’ve heard a few jokes about her ample bust or various nips and tucks. Jokes which, no doubt, Dolly would laugh at herself. She’s been quoted as having said, “You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this  cheap.”

That may be on the outside, but inside Dolly has a heart of gold. In 1996, she started the Imagination Library, a foundation that mails one new book per month to kids from birth until they go off to kindergarten. She started the program to benefit the children in her rural home county because she wanted to foster a love of reading in children who otherwise might never have a book of their own. When a new book arrives on their doorstep, it creates an opportunity for parents to read to their children and maybe start a conversation. “When I was growing up in the hills of East Tennessee, I knew my dreams would come true. I know there are children in your community with their own dreams….The seeds of these dreams are often found in books and the seeds you help plant in your community can grow across the world.”

Fifteen years later, the foundation now reaches 700,000 kids each month, and they’ve expanded to 1,600 local communities including Canada and the UK! The kids call Dolly the “book lady” and that’s all right by her.

____________________________________________

Caroline Kennedy

The South Bronx is notorious. It is the poorest congressional district in the country, nearly half of the residents live below the poverty line, and the high school drop-out rate is almost 50 percent. But if you think that this is a place bereft of hope and joy, you’d be wrong because here you’ll find the DreamYard Project, which sends actors, dancers, painters and poets into underserved and underfunded South Bronx public schools and shows the kids a positive way to express themselves. Program participants have been able to envision a different kind of future – one that takes them to college and on to a fulfilling career, and even the White House. (Ten students were invited to perform at the First Lady’s daylong celebration of poetry in May.)

It was Caroline Kennedy’s love of poetry that got her interested in DreamYard, and the kids have kept her coming back. She regularly visits the arts center, helping the students with their poems and attending open mic performances. “They’re incredibly gifted and disciplined and dedicated to figuring out where they stand in relation to the world and who they want to be,” she said in a recent  O Magazine interview. But Caroline Kennedy doesn’t just show up, pat the kids on the back for some face time and leave. In this time of budget cuts, she’s helped raise one million dollars in grant money to keep the program running.  She also asked several students to assist in selecting work for a new children’s poetry anthology she’s editing. They got the opportunity to work with her in her publisher’s office a few times a month. Talk about career shadowing!

Here’s a poem written by a fourth grader (age 9) in the program:

Despair

By Charlos Do

Fourth Grade, PS 46

From the DreamYard Newsletter, December 2010

 

It doesn’t matter who you are

Or your culture

We are all connected as one

Like two cable wires glued tightly together.

Cause I know that sometimes you feel

Like you don’t fit in.

 

Day after day your heart might feel stepped on

You are worried about saying the truth.

It is locked inside you like a jar with a lid.

Until you speak it, it will stab you right in the heart.

 

People in your school might tease you

And shatter you into a million pieces

Like pieces of glass exploded on the classroom floor.

Like ten million vases breaking into fragments.

Like your flesh is slowly tearing off your body.

You feel different from the whole world

Until you learn…

 

You go home with raindrops upon your face,

Sliding slowly down your cheek.

Your mom says to you that day–

She sings to you, “If you’re different, it makes you unique.”

She sings, “There’s no one I know that can compare.”

It changes your life

And your scared spirit will fly away,

Evolve into the great, mighty person you’ll be tomorrow.

You’ll never feel shattered again,

You’ll feel INVINCIBLE.

___________________________________________

Ted Danson

It’s difficult to talk about the non-profit organization Oceana without mentioning actor Ted Danson. He was an integral part in its founding in 1987, when, walking along a stretch of Santa Monica beach, he saw a sign reading: Water polluted, no swimming. “Trying to explain that to my kid was hard,” Danson remembers. “It got me questioning a lot of things.”

Oceana is  the largest international organization working solely to protect the world’s oceans by stopping pollution, promoting responsible fishing, protecting marine life, and preserving coastal areas. For two decades, Danson’s second job has been to spread the word about the crisis in Earth’s oceans. He sits on Oceana’s Board of Directors. He’s written a book (Read an excerpt here) and he travels around the globe talking to everyone from the media to Congress to conferences. “Ocean conservation is rewarding because you absolutely can make a difference… the oceans are incredibly resilient.”

Coming up next on SHINE: Naomi finds the healing power of plants through Therapeutic Gardens.  

Read past stories on SHINE here. If you or anyone you know should be featured in SHINE, please let me know: contact  {at}   jacquelincangro  DOT   com.