Friday Five

1. Sunday Blahs. Every Sunday night, about 7 p.m. it starts. The Sunday Blahs. I don’t think I’m the only one who starts dreading the looming work week. (And lately, my weekends have been filled with chores, so it doesn’t even feel like I’ve had the necessary R&R.) I’ve been reading up on some suggestions to beat the doldrums. Here is the helpful tips portion of this blog (you’re welcome):

  1. Plan something fun in the coming week. Whether it’s lunch with a friend or a movie you’ve been dying to see, you’ll have something to look forward to when Sunday rolls around.
  2. Turn off your devices. We all know this one. Checking your emails and voice mail starts to get you into work mode too soon.
  3. Write a journal entry. Take some time to reflect on the past week and jot down a few special moments. It could be something small like a bird splashing around in a puddle or seeing the first daffodil bud of spring. (Both happened to me this week!) If writing them down harshes your buzz, try using a voice recorder.
  4. Take a mini-vacation. If your weekends are filled with kids and carpools, doing something by yourself can have amazing restorative powers. Catching a movie, taking an undisturbed bubble bath or even going grocery shopping by yourself can make you feel more relaxed.
  5. Get some sleep. I recently read in the New York Times that 41 million Americans (that’s a third of working adults) get less than 6 hours of sleep a night. Plan to get to bed early may make Monday a whole lot better. Maybe.

Do you have any Sunday night rituals?

2. The Care and Feeding of Kitties. My neighbor took a vacation to Mexico (jealousy!) and asked me to watch her two cats. While I’ve taken care of many cats at the animal shelter where I volunteer, I’ve never had the opportunity to cat-sit before. I learned a few things:

1. Cats are not dogs. I bet you’re surprised to hear this. I was, too. These lovely kitties met me at the door every day. They meow-ed and pranced around, twitching their tails. They rubbed their little faces against my legs and sometimes even pawed at me. Fairly dog-like, right?  Not so fast. The moment they finished eating, they threw a look over their shoulders and slinked off into the bedroom. I think they saw me as their waitress. But they’re terrible tippers.

2. Cats are zen creatures. These two kitties seemed to spend a lot of time sitting next to each other and staring out the window in a contemplative sort of way, just blissing out in a sun spot. Eckhart Tolle wrote, “I have lived with many zen masters, all of them cats.” Now I realize the truth of that statement.

3. Cats are stealthy. Sometimes, I would feel like I was being watched. I’d look over my shoulder and no one was there. I’d get that funny feeling again, turn around and find myself nose-to-nose like this:

Bella

Feed me.

3. April is…spring.

April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.

~William Shakespeare.

4. April is…Poetry Month. For years I had a love/hate relationship with poetry. I wanted to enjoy it, but the poems I read were so dense, so unreachable my eyes would glaze over immediately. I’d close the book and shake my head in frustration. Then, while browsing in a bookstore for a novel not long ago, I realized that there were some fiction writers and subjects that I connected with and some that I didn’t. Maybe the same was true of poetry. Maybe I’d been reading the wrong poems. (I know, amazing revelation, right?!) Now, I wouldn’t say I am a connoisseur but I have  a new appreciation for it. I have a sense of what I like and why.

The first thing to understand about poetry is that it comes to you from outside you, in books or in words, but that for it to live, something from within you must come to it and meet it and complete it. Your response with your own mind and body and memory and emotions gives a poem its ability to work its magic; if you give to it, it will give to you, and give plenty.

~James Dickey, winner of the National Book Award for Poetry

Do you like poetry? Who are your favorite poets or poems?

5. Two poems. Last April, I ran a few posts featuring some of my favorite poets: Mary Oliver, Seamus Heaney, Deborah Garrison, W.S. Merwin. This year, I thought I do something a bit different.  I’d love to introduce you to some poets you probably don’t know — yet.  Over the next few weeks, they’re going to take over this space on the Friday Five to share one poem they’ve written and one poem they admire.

Guest Poet: Jason Primm

Jackie said to me, “I’m doing a thing on my blog where I post poets that aren’t well known. Right now when I share a poem it is someone like Mary Oliver or a poet laureate, you know, really famous successful people.” I was tempted to direct her to my own blog at that point, but instead, I admitted that she had come to the right place. Boy and how!

This poem grew out of a habit, a terrible habit, as bad as smoking, of using Greek myths as a kind of cloak to both hide and express my feelings, the real grade A inner turmoil. It is about the arguments with ourselves that never end and how good it would feel to just give in. Or maybe not. Maybe it is about something else. The more astute of you will have noted that my name is Jason which is why this mythic tale has always held a certain amount of interest. The speaker isn’t necessarily Jason. I always imagined him as one of the nameless sailors on the boat. This poem first appeared in the 2012 editon of the journal, Paper Nautilus. I sent my work to them because I thought it was one of the best names that I have ever seen for a journal.

The Argo, by Lorenzo Costa via Wikipedia

The Argo, by Lorenzo Costa via Wikipedia

Argonaut

Like breathing, I stopped thinking
I was rowing. We were a ship
and the ship was a man beating
the choppy sea to a smooth glass road.
Had it been just me, I would have stopped
when my shoulders hurt and the last light of home
dropped like a coin into the dark sack of night.
But we were the Argonauts. Wind burnt and sun
drugged, I thought home waited – the bubbling
pot of meat by my snoring father,
the hands of my mother cool on my face
and those first girls willing to teach me love
on the worn paths above the bay's calm.
The places we went weren't gentle, but I knew
what to do in battle. I worked to stay alive.
Without it, I was lost and time spread
like a red tide under us or sat on the deck,
a tangled rope. After all the miles and men
we made die, it wasn't the sword
but the endless back and forth that kept me alive.
There was a sea monster that swam lazy,
lying in the cool shadow of our ship
like a woman on her back, inviting a lover,
bending her knees, planting her heels in the salty
glitter of the moving sea. To the rhythm of the rowing,
she called our names, told us the water was warmer
than a woman's lap. I licked the salt off my lips
and believed it was true. Even after we found
the deeper water, I heard her voice
setting the pace. How I longed for her hands on the small
of my back, the lace of rising bubbles,
the still ocean floor and the end of all rowing.

Jason’s poem suggestion:

Sometimes people ask me to make suggestions of poems for special occasions. Especially weddings. I used to say no problem and I would go home and page through my books and come up with nothing that could possibly ever be used. Now I know enough to know that any poem that I like about one of those special occasions is too complicated to be used in a moment of simple and benignly dishonest well wishing. Here is a poem that Phillip Larkin wrote on the birth of friend Kingsley Amis’s daughter. He wished her happiness. Of course, being a great and terrible poet, he talks honestly about the nature of happiness and how it is achieved. This is not a card that Hallmark is coming out with anytime soon.

Philip Larkin

Philip Larkin

Born Yesterday

For Sally Amis

Tightly-folded bud,
I have wished you something
None of the others would:
Not the usual stuff
About being beautiful,
Or running off a spring
Of innocence and love -
They will all wish you that,
And should it prove possible,
Well, you’re a lucky girl.

But if it shouldn’t, then
May you be ordinary;
Have, like other women,
An average of talents:
Not ugly, not good-looking,
Nothing uncustomary
To pull you off your balance,
That, unworkable itself,
Stops all the rest from working.
In fact, may you be dull -
If that is what a skilled,
Vigilant, flexible,
Unemphasised, enthralled
Catching of happiness is called.

Jason Primm lives in the empire of Brooklyn and works on the casino cruise ship of Manhattan. He does most of his writing on the F-train. His work has most recently appeared in Paper Nautilus, burntdistrict, Grasslimb, and The James Dickey Review. You can find his most recent musings at his almost new blog.

Is that a poem you’d give to a friend on the birth of her daughter?

Next Thursday starts the “Where in the world am I” contest. Each day for five days, I’ll be posting a clue about my secret location. The first person to guess correctly gets a donation to a favorite charity. I’m so excited about it. Stay tuned!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Friday Five – A Walk Around Fort Greene

The Fort Greene neighborhood of Brooklyn is not far from my mine so I took a walk last weekend. Come along.

1. Architecture. 

Apartment Building

Apartment Building

This building is home to the Seventh Day Adventist  Church. It was built in 1857 and is on the National Register for Historic Places. It was originally the Hanson Place Baptist Church.

This building is home to the Seventh Day Adventist Church. It was built in 1857 and is on the National Register for Historic Places. It was originally the Hanson Place Baptist Church.

Not technically in Fort Greene, but I like the look of this building.

Not technically in Fort Greene, but I like the look of this building.

2. Signage. Conflicting messages?

Fort Greene

No Parking

Hmmm…what are they trying to tell me?

3. Greenlight Bookstore. This is one of my favorite indie bookstore in the city. (Yes, we still have those here in Brooklyn.) A great indie bookstore is part of the fabric of  the neighborhood. The staff knows you and you know the staff, even if you’ve never been formally introduced. I could spend all afternoon browsing in there, much to the chagrin of friends and former boyfriends. I now go alone. It’s better that way anyway. Then I can linger over the Staff Recommendation shelves, analyze the covers and read the intros and acknowledgement pages. Then I flip through the expensive coffee table books (even though I don’t have a coffee table) and spin the racks of travel books (even though my spring trip is already planned).

Greenlight Bookstore

Greenlight Bookstore

A neat place to sit.

A neat place to sit.

This guy found a more comfortable spot.

This guy found a more comfortable spot.

Dogs allowed!

Dogs allowed!

Planning a trip? (Stay tuned for a fun giveaway surrounding the destination of my trip. Shh! It’s coming soon.)

The Haruki Murakami section. Right next to the Alice Munro section. Right next to a book I just added to my TBR list: Me Before You. Can't wait to read that one!

The Haruki Murakami section. Right next to the Alice Munro section. Right next to a book I just added to my TBR list: Me Before You. Can’t wait to read that one!

Hungry?

Hungry?

4. Snacks.  Why, yes. Yes, I am.

Fort Greene

A chai pistachio muffin

A chai pistachio muffin

5. Murals. 

Fort Greene

A tribute to Biggie Smalls, a.k.a Notorious B.I.G., a hip-hop artist from Brooklyn, who was killed 16 years ago this month.

Not Ray's Pizza is a local joke. Ray's Pizza is a chain which seems to have a location on nearly every corner in the city.

Not Ray’s Pizza is a local joke. Ray’s Pizza is a chain which seems to have a location on nearly every corner in the city.

"Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition." ~ James Baldwin

“Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.” ~ James Baldwin

Fort Greene

Time to go home. Have a great weekend everyone! 

Friday Five

1. More Dogs in Slo-mo. Really, isn’t everything better in slo-mo?

2. Favorite movie lines. One of the daily prompts this week got me thinking about my favorite movie quotes. So here it is:

“The Dude abides.” ~The Big Lebowski

Just kidding! (Why do guys love this movie so much?) It was actually harder than I thought it would be to narrow it down one favorite, but if I had to choose it would be this one:Wizard of Oz

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.”  ~The Wizard of Oz.  I always interpret this to mean, “want what you have and you’ll have what you want.” A good thing to remember whether you’re in Kansas or Kenya.

This would be a very close second:

“Whatever you end up doing, love it. The way you loved the projection booth when you were a little kid.” ~Cinema Paradiso. Oh, this movie is just brilliant from beginning to end. And the end! Oh. My. Goodness.

What is your favorite line from a film?

3. Etiquette Redefined. This article in The New York Times caused a big stir this week. It starts off like this:

Some people are so rude. Really, who sends an e-mail or text message that just says “Thank you”? Who leaves a voice mail message when you don’t answer, rather than texting you? Who asks for a fact easily found on Google? Don’t these people realize that they’re wasting your time?

Writer Nick Bilton goes on to provide a laundry list of once-polite considerations that should be thrown out the window in the digital age. He impales the “thank you” email and sets fire to voice mail. Don’t ask him for directions. Can’t you find it on Google maps? As blunt and rude as the article is, I hate to think, he has a point.

I have been known to get annoyed with “thank you” emails. I get an average of 125 emails a day (yes a day) at work. I really don’t need to add another one to the pile just to say thanks. And the directions? Don’t even ask. You’re far better off plugging the address into your phone or computer, unless you want to hear something like: “So then you go two blocks. No, wait. Maybe it’s three blocks. I know there is a barber shop on the corner. Ok, that closed about a year ago. Now it’s a shoe store. Definitely a shoe store. If you run into the park, you’ve gone too far. Come to think of it, you’re not anywhere near the park so never mind…”

I wouldn’t take things nearly as far as Mr. Bilton, who claims he and his mother communicate mostly via Twitter. I don’t think my mother knows what Twitter is.

What do you think? Are we losing important personal connections by letting these kinds of interactions go? Or are we living in the past and need to accept a new way of interacting? 

4. Why we read. Many of you know I’ve taught literature and creative writing on and off for years. I’ve taught to high schoolers, college students and adults. No matter what the setting, where the class, how engaging the material, there are always a few who say something like, “Why do I need to read (insert name of 19th century Victorian author here)? This is completely irrelevant. I’m never gonna use this.”

I’ve always had various answers in my repertoire, depending on  my frustration level, i.e. how close we are to the end of the course. But I’ve now found the perfect retort. This is from Mark Edmundson, a professor of English at the University of Virginia (not the retired Australian tennis player), who wrote the wonderful essay “Who Are You and What Are You Doing Here?” which was originally published in the Oxford American.

The reason to read Blake and Dickinson and Freud and Dickens is not to become more cultivated, or more articulate, or to be someone who, at a cocktail party, is never embarrassed (or who can embarrass others). The best reason to read them is to see if they may know you better than you know yourself. You may find your own suppressed and rejected thoughts flowing back to you with an “alienated majesty.” Reading the great writers, you may have the experience that Longinus associated with the sublime: you feel that you have actually created the text yourself. For somehow your predecessors are more yourself than you are.

That phrase about “alienated majesty” goes right back to Emerson’s Self Reliance: “In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. ” That is why I read and why I write.

Why do you read fiction or memoir? Do you read the same genre or read in different categories? 

5.  Neverwhere? Speaking of reading in different genres, I’m trying to branch out. I’ve not read any of Neil Gaiman’s books and I’ve been wanting to add one of his works to my TBR list, but there are so many to choose from. I feel like you guys could recommend an introductory Gaiman book, one that would ease me into his world. Where should I start? 

Speaking of Neil Gaiman, have you seen the talk his wife, Amanda Palmer, gave at TED? She an alternative rocker (she describes her music as a cross between punk and cabaret) who believes in making music accessible to all. She talks about vulnerability and why we are afraid to ask for what we need. In “The Art of Asking” she says,

“And the media asked, ‘Amanda, the music business is tanking and you encourage piracy. How did you make all these people pay for music?’ And the real answer is, I didn’t make them. I asked them. And through the very act of asking people, I’d connected with them, and when you connect with them, people want to help you. It’s kind of counterintuitive for a lot of artists. They don’t want to ask for things. But it’s not easy. It’s not easy to ask. And a lot of artists have a problem with this. Asking makes you vulnerable…And I think when we really see each other, we want to help each other.

She’s edgy and honest and free. I wish I could meet her for a drink, but then I’d worry I was not nearly cool enough.  (P.S. For all you Bostonians out there, how much do you love her accent?)

Have a great weekend, everyone! 

Friday Five

1. You Are Beautiful! A simple statement, but a powerful message. Sometimes we all just need a little reminder of something we already know. Ten years ago, Matthew Hoffman wanted to spread the word, so he had 100 stickers printed and put them around town. He offered to send stickers to anyone who requested them. Now more than a half million have been distributed around the globe. The project has even inspired murals and exhibitions at institutions.

He developed a Kickstarter campaign to document the past decade in a book. The funding goal was surpassed last month. Look for the book this September. In the meantime go to the site to get some free stickers of your own to help spread the message.

You Are Beautiful New Orleans, LA

You Are Beautiful at the Brooklyn Bridge

You Are Beautiful at the Brooklyn Bridge

You Are Beautiful San Jose Airport

You Are Beautiful San Jose Airport

2. Bacon and Egg Man.  So, I was at a book launch party this week at the Tribeca Grand. I say this casually as if book launch parties at the Tribeca Grand are something I do every week. If it sounds far too swanky for the likes of me, it was. I took plenty of photos to give you a taste of it, but sadly, the only one not blurry and dark was this one of the exterior. (It only gets ritzier on the inside.)

tribeca-grand-hotel

But on to the reason I was there: A book party to celebrate my friend Ken Wheaton’s second novel, Bacon and Egg Man.  I’ve read earlier incarnations when it was just a little ol’ WIP, so I’m looking forward to seeing if he took all of my editing suggestions checking out the final results. Writers spend a lot of time in a strange solitary confinement so it was great to celebrate and acknowledge his achievement.

I hope you’ll get an opportunity to pick up a copy. Here’s a down-and-dirty synopsis and then you can read an excerpt here:

Bacon and Egg ManIn the halls of Congress, on the streets, in the media, the war on fast food is on. Tofu may be topical, but bacon is eternal. Bacon and Egg Man, Ken Wheaton’s second novel, is a sly send of up of a politically correct food establishment, where the Northeast has split off from the rest of the United States. The new Federation is ruled by the electoral descendants of King Mike, a man who made it his mission to form a country based on good, clean living. But you can’t keep good food down. And Wes Montgomery, a journalist at the last print paper in the Federation, is a mild-mannered bacon-and-egg dealer on the side. Until he gets pinched and finds himself thrust into Chief Detective Blunt’s wild-eyed plot to bring down the biggest illegal food supplier in the land. To make matters worse, Wes is partnered with Detective Hillary Halstead, the cop who, while undercover, became his girlfriend. Their journey takes them from submarine lairs to sushi speakeasies, from Montauk to Manhattan, where they have to negotiate with media magnate The Gawker before a climatic rendezvous with the secretive man who supplies the Northeast with its high cholesterol contraband, the most eternal of all breakfast foods: bacon and eggs.
Are you reading a book right now that you’d recommend? Share in the comments. I’m always looking for new books to put on my TBR list. I’m reading Elizabeth Strout’s new novel The Burgess Boys. (I won a copy on Goodreads!) Loving it, so far!
3. Airports. When I was in high school, my wonderful literature teacher told my class that she found inspiration at the airport. She said she could spend hours dreaming where people were going and why they might be going there. She’d filled dozens of notebooks with character sketches and letting her creativity run wild. Until then, I’d never really kept a notebook. I’d tried keeping diaries, but after a few entries I’d lose interest. To be introduced to a character / image notebook was really intriguing. Even today I carry a notebook just about everywhere I go.

I hadn’t thought about that in years until I read a post from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. She posed a question to her readers: What is your favorite thing to do in an airport?  The answers were fun, ranging from browsing in the bookstore (a personal favorite) to shopping for perfume at the duty free shop to downing a rum and coke.

So tell me, what is your favorite thing to do in an airport?

P.S. This is another great opportunity to tell your about an upcoming contest I’m hosting in April about my vacation destination. More details to come!

4. What is a weekend? Fans of Downton Abbey will no doubt recognize the dowager countess’s (a.k.a. Maggie Smith’s) now-famous question. Her confusion is understandable for a woman who has lived an aristocratic life, never having to work. I have come to feel the same way, but for exactly the opposite reason. I used to look forward to the weekend with gleeful abandon. A brief respite from the office. The luxury to follow my own schedule. The enjoyment of small adventures. Lately my weekends have become filled with errands and obligations. One task after another in a never-ending sea of chores. Every Sunday night, I’m wondering where the time went. Does anyone else feel the same way? Do you have any suggestions on how to put the f-u-n back into the weekend?

5. Price that mansion. Part of my neighborhood is an historic district with stately, gorgeous homes around every corner. Here in a new, occasional series on the blog, I’ll share photos and a bit of history of some of these mansions. This place is on the market. Want to put in a bid? Guess how much you’ll need.

Tracy Mansion

This 50-foot-wide neo-classical limestone mansion was constructed in 1912 by the Tracy family, who were in shipping and used it as a family home.

Tracy Mansion

The floor plan is largely unchanged from when the Tracy family owned it. There have only been three owners. This Italian marble fireplace is 8-feet tall.

Tracy Mansion

The mansion has 23 rooms, nine bathrooms and approximately 10,000 square feet of space. These wood panels are made from mahogany.

Tracy Mansion

The curved marble entry hall has bronze doors and Corinthian-style columns.

Have a great weekend everyone! 

Friday Five

1. Meet Henri. The brooding, self-important, contemplative, endearing little Frenchman. Oh, and he’s a cat. Thanks to Lunar Euphoria for posting this!

2. Seconds.
I have a lot of favorite meals. Meals that are memorable because they were eaten in a lovely restaurant or with good friends or in celebration of a happy occasion. In these cases I often don’t remember specifically what I ate, only as the years pass having a fond recollection in a generic way that the food was delicious.

Then there is that once-in-a-lifetime meal. The meal that I feel sure I will recall on my deathbed. The meal that has ruined me for all others like it. The meal that has each bite imprinted on my taste buds. And of course it was the simplest of dishes.

Once upon a time, in a little town in the Liguria region on the Italian Riviera there was a restaurant overlooking the Mediterranean. (Doesn’t this sound like a delightful fairy tale?)  It looked something like this:

Monterosso Cinque Terre

Monterosso, Italy

I stopped for dinner at a cafe with one thing on the menu: gnocchi with pesto. Pesto originated in Genoa, a hop, skip and a jump from Monterosso. There are many variations on the theme, but purists consider pesto to be just five ingredients: basil, olive oil, Parmesan, garlic and pine nuts. This would lead you to believe that pesto is pesto is pesto. How different could it be? In that case, I would say that you have not had the good fortune to eat pesto in Liguria. The aroma of the basil and garlic, the sweetness of the olive oil, the nutty Parmesan — each in the perfect ratio and softly coating the gnocchi. And, oh, the gnocchi. Little pillows of potato dumplings so light they almost deflated when I bit into them. All of that while sitting at a table on the small terrace with a view the blue-green water and feeling the gentle salty breeze. Hard to imagine another meal pushing this one out of the number one slot of all time.

What was your most memorable meal?

gnocchi with pesto

3. Don’t do anything. This round up of best advice has been circulating on LinkedIn from more than 70 notable business people from start-up entrepreneurs to CEOs. Of course, there is no shortage of advice on the web (or anywhere else for that matter). So when I started thinking about the most reliable advice I’ve received, it seemed more appropriate to adopt something my mom has always said: if you’re really not sure what to do in a situation, don’t do anything. Meaning, don’t rush into a decision because you feel pressured. Time and again, I’ve found that to be true. There aren’t many major choices in my life that must be made instantly, and usually, if I’m unsure, stepping back for even a few minutes can give me the right amount of perspective to help me make a decision I’m comfortable with.

What is the best advice you’ve ever received? 

 

4. Kiva update. I’m happy to report that  Ana from Mozambique is repaying her loan on time and Melissa Lizeth, who was behind schedule for a while, has now fully repaid her loan. That gave me enough funds in my account to make a new loan.

This time, Liza from Northern Mindanao, Philippines, requested a loan to purchase supplies for the general store she has owned for six years. She is planning to purchase items such as shampoo, toothpaste, soap, salt and vinegar. Her goal is to expand her business soon. She is 56 years old, married with three children. Right now she earns about USD $75 per month on sales from the store. (The average annual salary in the Philippines is USD $1175.)

For those of you not familiar, Kiva is a non-profit that connects lenders and borrowers around the world to help alleviate poverty. Through their site, you can find someone in need of a micro-loan and send a donation to fund their dreams. If you’re considering trying out Kiva and you use this link, I’ll get $25 in my basket to make another loan for free. Or you can visit the Kiva main page for more info.

Liza_Kiva

Liza

 

5. The story of my life…

Mutts_novel

Mutts, by Patrick McDonnell, February 28, 2013

Have a great weekend, everyone!