Friday Five

1. Can I get a witness? Last Thursday, I had the honor and privilege of being a witness at very special nuptials. Many of you know Kathy from Reinventing the Event Horizon and her partner Sara. Kathy had emailed to let me know that prior to their big move to Cuenca, Ecuador, she and Sara would be in New York City. She wanted to know if I’d be available to come to the clerk’s office and be a witness at their wedding ceremony. Would I be available?!? You betcha!

My co-witness was the fabulously awesome Virginia from Lame Adventures. Check out her post of the event for more details and (in focus) photos. Virginia and I had a lot of important duties, including, but not limited to, signing our names to Serious Paperwork, loudly saying “no” when asked if we knew of any reason why Kathy and Sara should not be married, and holding the ticket with their ceremony number on it. I think we handled them all with aplomb, if I do say so myself.

Kathy and Sara: Newlyweds

Upon exiting the building, we stopped to have the official wedding portrait taken by a guy on the street corner. (No, it was totally legit!) He took a couple of lovely shots. As we were waiting for the photos to appear magically from the printer in his carry-all bag, we perused his portfolio which consisted of tag board with shots of other happy couples. In an amazing high-five from the universe, someone in our group noticed his name posted: Braulio Cuenca — the name of the city Kathy and Sara are moving to in Ecuador!

Kathy and Braulio Cuenca, photographer. He was able to get a shot of me with my eyes open! 

 

We spent the rest of the day eating and laughing. It was fabulous from beginning to end and it felt like I’ve known these blogging buddies forever. Call me an old softy, but this is one of the reasons I started blogging. (The other reasons: A. instant fame and B. fabulous wealth haven’t seemed to materialize yet.)

Kathy and Sara, who’ve been together for seven years, both remarked that they never thought this would be possible. I’m so glad it was and that I was there to witness it.

Have you had the opportunity to meet any bloggers in person? 

P.S. In a pay-it-forward way, Kathy and Sara had attended Tori’s Very Bloggy Wedding last year. (Tori, next time I’m in Nashville, put the coffee on, I’m coming over.)

 

 

2. Thank you, Nancy! As if the above didn’t prove that there are more people out there besides my mother who read my posts, blog reader Nancy sent a micro-loan to an organization I support regularly: Kiva.org. She used the “friend” link, so Kiva generously kicked in a $25 bonus credit allowing me to make another loan for free.

For those of you not familiar, Kiva is a non-profit that connects lenders and borrowers around the world to help alleviate poverty. Through their site, you can find someone in need of a micro-loan and send a donation to fund their dreams or help them get a fresh start. For a limited time,  if you’re considering trying out Kiva and you use this link, we’ll each get $25 in our baskets to make a loan for free. Or you can visit the bonus page for more info.

I used my $25 bonus credit from Nancy’s micro-loan to help Tho from Cambodia. Tho is 38 years old, married with three children. She lives in in Kampong Speu Province, Cambodia, located in the southeastern part of the country. She applied for a $1,000 to build a new house. Tho and her husband are farmers, earning approximately $3 each day. Her loan is now fully funded by lenders from South Bend to Singapore to Sweden.

Thanks again, Nancy! I hope you enjoy your experience with Kiva as much as I do.

 

 

3 . What is it? Each week Lenore posts a “what is it” photo, encouraging readers to submit their guesses. So I thought of her when I saw this item out by the curb on garbage pick-up day. It was made of wood and the “fingers” moved as bit as levers. Of course, Lenore knows the items in her photos, but here I have absolutely no idea. So I’m asking you…what is it?

What is it?

 

4. Quack. Gretchen Rubin over at The Happiness Project  had an interesting post about “decoy habits.”

A decoy habit is a habit that a person claims to want to adopt—but really doesn’t intend to do. Often, decoy habits reflect other people’s values or priorities. Decoy habits are harmful, I think, because they allow us to pretend to have certain aims or values that we don’t really have. Maybe we don’t want to admit what we really want to do, or maybe two values are in conflict.

I recognized myself (and a few people I know) immediately. See below for example. There are plenty of times I’ve said, “I want to give up coffee.” I mean, let’s face it, I don’t really want to give up coffee. I probably should—or at the very least cut the i.v. line that runs from the coffee pot to my arm—but I have no intention of doing so. I’d not thought of it as a form of avoidance. I used to think of it as idealism, as in “Ideally I’d like to give up coffee,” but now I see that without setting a real plan, it was always somewhere in the future, a hope to be a better person. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to refill my coffee cup.

Do you have any decoy habits?

 

 

5. Serenity Now.  Last year I participated in a meditation challenge. For three weeks, I meditated for 15 minutes each day. While I didn’t realize the major health benefits some studies show — everything from improved blood circulation to  decrease in dependence on anxiety medication — I felt generally calmer and slower to anger when someone, let’s say, wouldn’t step away from the doors on the subway. My hope was that the three weeks would be long enough to develop a good routine to continue meditating on my own without the daily reminders and prompts.

Thaaaat didn’t work out exactly as planned. I don’t know if the habit wasn’t ingrained enough in my day. Maybe some event came along to disrupt the pattern and I never returned to meditating except in fits and starts. I’ve been wanting to dedicate myself to it ever since (see above mention of “decoy habit”) and I found an app for that. The appropriately-named calm.com is a site or app that allows you to pick a mediation time of two, 10, or 20 minutes with a variety of beautiful scenes / nature sounds to choose from. I’m partial to the ocean and wave sound myself. (Note to New Yorkers reading this: they do not offer subway sounds to lull you into tranquility.) I’m setting an intention to meditate for two minutes a day so this doesn’t become another decoy habit.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Friday Five

1. Meet Henri. The brooding, self-important, contemplative, endearing little Frenchman. Oh, and he’s a cat. Thanks to Lunar Euphoria for posting this!

2. Seconds.
I have a lot of favorite meals. Meals that are memorable because they were eaten in a lovely restaurant or with good friends or in celebration of a happy occasion. In these cases I often don’t remember specifically what I ate, only as the years pass having a fond recollection in a generic way that the food was delicious.

Then there is that once-in-a-lifetime meal. The meal that I feel sure I will recall on my deathbed. The meal that has ruined me for all others like it. The meal that has each bite imprinted on my taste buds. And of course it was the simplest of dishes.

Once upon a time, in a little town in the Liguria region on the Italian Riviera there was a restaurant overlooking the Mediterranean. (Doesn’t this sound like a delightful fairy tale?)  It looked something like this:

Monterosso, Italy

I stopped for dinner at a cafe with one thing on the menu: gnocchi with pesto. Pesto originated in Genoa, a hop, skip and a jump from Monterosso. There are many variations on the theme, but purists consider pesto to be just five ingredients: basil, olive oil, Parmesan, garlic and pine nuts. This would lead you to believe that pesto is pesto is pesto. How different could it be? In that case, I would say that you have not had the good fortune to eat pesto in Liguria. The aroma of the basil and garlic, the sweetness of the olive oil, the nutty Parmesan — each in the perfect ratio and softly coating the gnocchi. And, oh, the gnocchi. Little pillows of potato dumplings so light they almost deflated when I bit into them. All of that while sitting at a table on the small terrace with a view the blue-green water and feeling the gentle salty breeze. Hard to imagine another meal pushing this one out of the number one slot of all time.

What was your most memorable meal?

3. Don’t do anything. This round up of best advice has been circulating on LinkedIn from more than 70 notable business people from start-up entrepreneurs to CEOs. Of course, there is no shortage of advice on the web (or anywhere else for that matter). So when I started thinking about the most reliable advice I’ve received, it seemed more appropriate to adopt something my mom has always said: if you’re really not sure what to do in a situation, don’t do anything. Meaning, don’t rush into a decision because you feel pressured. Time and again, I’ve found that to be true. There aren’t many major choices in my life that must be made instantly, and usually, if I’m unsure, stepping back for even a few minutes can give me the right amount of perspective to help me make a decision I’m comfortable with.

What is the best advice you’ve ever received? 

 

4. Kiva update. I’m happy to report that  Ana from Mozambique is repaying her loan on time and Melissa Lizeth, who was behind schedule for a while, has now fully repaid her loan. That gave me enough funds in my account to make a new loan.

This time, Liza from Northern Mindanao, Philippines, requested a loan to purchase supplies for the general store she has owned for six years. She is planning to purchase items such as shampoo, toothpaste, soap, salt and vinegar. Her goal is to expand her business soon. She is 56 years old, married with three children. Right now she earns about USD $75 per month on sales from the store. (The average annual salary in the Philippines is USD $1175.)

For those of you not familiar, Kiva is a non-profit that connects lenders and borrowers around the world to help alleviate poverty. Through their site, you can find someone in need of a micro-loan and send a donation to fund their dreams. If you’re considering trying out Kiva and you use this link, I’ll get $25 in my basket to make another loan for free. Or you can visit the Kiva main page for more info.

Liza

 

5. The story of my life…

Mutts, by Patrick McDonnell, February 28, 2013

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Friday Five

1. What’s on your playlist? That’s what these skeletons want to know. I bet the guy in the lawn chair is still on hold with Pandora to request “Monster Mash.”

I’m not sure how this scene relates to Halloween, but as many of you know, my neighborhood goes all out with the decorating, much more than Christmas. I’ll be bringing you the best and the worst of it in the coming weeks.

So…what’s on your playlist these days? 

2. Hemingway’s Gatsby. Years ago, I used to teach English and literature courses at a local college in Harlem. It was an eye opening experience in many ways. In the microcosm of my classroom, I had the opportunity to learn why school is important and why it isn’t.  Many of my formerly hard and fast rules were tested about what it means to be educated. It sounds cliche to say this, but I often think I gained more than my students did.

I wrote an essay about my time there, and I’m happy to say that it was published in Prick of the Spindle, a New Orleans-based literary journal. I’m so flattered that they decided to include my work in this issue. It’s on the longish side, but if you have a few minutes, you can check it out here. As you’ll see, by the end, I certainly had to face down some of my preconceived notions. A bit controversial perhaps. I’d love to know your thoughts. What would you have done in Helen’s situation? Or mine?

3. Before I die I want to. Candy Chang, a TED fellow and New Orleans resident put this question to her neighbors on the side of an abandoned building as a way to build a sense of community. The number of responses run the gamut from funny to though-provoking to poignant and becomes a mirror for the neighborhood. Wait til you see it!

Before I die I want to appreciate every moment I’ve been given.

Now it’s your turn. Fill in the blank: Before I die I want to __________________________.

4. Chocolat Noir. Every now and then a book I’m reading will somehow pop into my daily life in unexpected ways. I’ve just finished a lovely memoir, Paris in Love, about the author’s year in Paris. She writes about an afternoon when she stumbled upon “La Grande Epicerie on rue de Severes and bought three different kinds of chocolate.” One of which was “Michel Cluizel’s noir aux ecorces d’orange.” She had a tasting test and the winner was “Cluizel’s chocolat noir. It’s astounding: deep and rich, with a silky melt.”

Then last week shopping in my local market, this package of chocolate caught my attention. (Chocolate usually does catch my attention anyway, but I recognized the name from Paris in Love, even if I can’t pronounce it.) I splurged, despite the high likelihood that I would eat the entire bar in one sitting. This one is not the orange flavor the author had, but it’s just as rich and silky as she described. I savored it while reading the book and felt transported for just a few minutes to a chocolate shop in Paris.

5. A big thank YOU! After last week’s Friday Five in which I mentioned my recent Kiva loan to Ana in Mozambique, blog reader Karen used the link to donate funds to Ana also! Now Ana’s loan is fully funded and I received a $25 bonus in my Kiva account to make another loan. Talk about paying it forward.

I was very excited to put that bonus to good use in a hurry. I found Melba from Columbia. She needs USD$1,675 to buy a new sewing machine. When Melba was doing seasonal work some years ago, she began to sew. She bought a tabletop sewing machine with her savings and started working as a seamstress; then she bought a serger and offered third party service. She was able to grow her business until she had her own workshop.

Melba’s husband died recently, and she is now a single mother of four children. To support her family she must increase her production and she wants to buy another sewing machine and serger. Her dream is to create her own clothing line and give her children a higher standard of living with better economic opportunities.

Thanks again to Karen whose donation contributed to both of these loans! Go here to learn more about Kiva.

Have a great weekend, everyone! 

Friday Five

1. Kiva Update. Here is the latest on my Kiva loans. Melissa Lizeth is repaying her jewelry business loan, but she’s a bit behind schedule. However the Mapatano group in Kenya, who borrowed money to purchase fabric to sell in the local market, is 75% repaid. That gave me enough funds in my account to make a new loan.

This time, Ana from Mozambique was looking for money to purchase sheets, curtains, blankets and clothes to sell in the marketplace. Her goal is to build a booth inside the market which would be a more permanent structure. She is married and has two children, one of whom still attends school. She needs USD $700 to make this happen which is tough when the annual average income is $1,300.

For those of you not familiar, Kiva is a non-profit that connects lenders and borrowers around the world to help alleviate poverty. Through their site, you can find someone in need of a micro-loan and send a donation to fund their dreams. If you’re considering trying out Kiva for the first time and you use this link, I’ll get $25 in my basket to make another loan. Or you can visit the Kiva main page for more info.



2. My 15 minutes. I was recently interviewed for a website called Your Lovely Life which is about cultivating beauty and joy every day through books, recipes, articles, quotes, anything that might bring a smile to your face. It’s the brainchild of two people I admire for the way they walk the walk: Tammy Strobel from Rowdy kittens and Courtney Carver from Be More with Less. (I’ve written about Tammy’s tiny house here.) I’d contacted them about the possibility of featuring on Your Lovely Life some of the folks who’ve appeared on Shine. Then Courtney wrote asking if I’d like to answer a few questions about my lovely life.

~ blush ~

I’d been interviewed when The Subway Chronicles was published, but it was all book related. No one ever asked me the tough questions, ones that made me really think about how I relate to the world around me. So here it is. I’m sharing it with you in the hopes that if you or someone you know has a Shine-worthy experience to share you’ll get in touch with me.



3. Talk about Shine-worthy… Meet Willard Wigan, nano-artist. What’s a nano-artist? Mr. Wigan creates art that can’t be seen by the naked eye. It’s so small it fits on the head of a pin or inside the eye of a needle. These pieces are fully formed, painstakingly detailed pieces of sculpture. In order to do this he must go into a deeply meditative state so as to slow his breathing enough to keep his hands steady.

Cinderella

He has created Charlie Chaplin on the end of an eyelash, an elephant carved from a grain of sand, Marilyn Monroe on the edge of a diamond. He paints with a hair. Unbelievable, right? Watch Mr. Wigan show you how he does his work.

“It’s very painstaking work, but the best things come in small packages,” he says. It leaves me speechless, which you all know, is rare.

If you have a few extra minutes, watch his incredible TED talk where he describes his childhood, how his dyslexia caused him to retreat into this micro-world and how he creates this incredible art.

Have you had to look at the world in a different way? 

4. Never let go Jack. Did you ever wonder why Jack didn’t just climb on the door with Rose at the end of Titanic? Me too. The cool guys starring in the television show Mythbusters have finally put to rest the question we’ve all been asking since the movie came out. Here they decided to test it out by replicating that pivotal scene of the movie.

I don’t think I’m giving anything away here. I mean, if you haven’t seen Titanic by now, you’re probably not going to, but that said…spoiler alert.

After the ship sinks, Jack and Rose find a door floating among the detritus. She uses the door as a raft while he hangs on the side with most of his body in the sub-freezing water. The guys at Mythbusters determined that Jack and Rose could have both survived on the floating door with just one simple fix — attaching the life jacket Rose was wearing to the bottom of the board. Doing that gives the door enough bouyancy to keep both Jack and Rose out of the water and alive until they could be rescued.

This all made me think about a little issue I’m having with a story.

 

5.  Truth in fiction. The above example just goes to show that audiences expect realistic narrative in stories, even if they are fiction. (Rose and Jack were fictional characters, of course.) In fact, I have a friend who cries foul particularly when movies or television episodes set in Manhattan have inconsistencies. You’re not riding the 6 train to the Upper West Side, bub. It’s these little details, like the size of a door or getting take-out from Battery Park to Washington Heights while the food is still hot, that help bring the reader into the world of the story, while the inconsistencies will take them out.

Salman Rushdie said that even if you have a fantastical element like a magic carpet in your story, you still need to consider how the carpet behaves in a realistic way: What would that be like if you were standing on a carpet and it levitated? Would it be difficult to keep your balance? Would the carpet be rigid or would the movement of the air under the carpet make the carpet undulate? If you flew very high, wouldn’t it get very cold? How do you keep warm on a flying carpet?

And so, this is where I’m a bit stuck. I recently finished a short story which I was very satisfied with. (I’ll refrain from saying that I loved it or that I even “like liked” it. I’m a writer and a tinkerer.) The characters keep coming back to me, and my beta reader said that this is what I should be working on next. I think it’s a much longer story, maybe a novel. The story doesn’t have any magical realism elements like Rushdie mentioned above, but I’m afraid to dig in because I’m afraid of these inconsistencies. Briefly, it is set in the French countryside in the early 1900s. The main character has a job which is particular to this country at this time period. I have never been to France and the only French I know is pret a porter. How am I supposed to recreate this world for the reader?

Your next question is very logical. Didn’t you write the short story? A short story is simpler because, well, it’s short. Or as author Emma Donoghue put it, it’s like a honeymoon whereas a novel is like a marriage. I will get started on the research required because the story is compelling me to do it. I’ll need to circle around it for a bit before diving in.

Have you ever worked on a project when your lack of knowledge made you nervous to start? 

Have a great weekend, everyone! 

Friday Five

1.Hang 20 Dude! Need a pick-me-up this morning? Turn up the volume and watch these dogs catch a wave in the Coronado Bay surfing competition in San Diego. Look at them go! According to one of the judges, the dogs are rated on length of ride, poise and “flair.” Ricochet won in the large dog category – you can see part of his ride in this clip.

Being a city dog, Reggie says, “Pshaw” to all these surfing dogs. You want to see real talent? Try stealing a bagel from the craft services table of an on-location movie shoot without getting caught.

 

2. Water Lily. I was at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden last weekend doing some research on bonsai for my WIP.  The place is no Keukenhof, but it’s a mere 15 minute walk from my apartment.  The water lilies were starting to pop up. There are even a few koi in the pond.

 

3. Reggie on the roof. Sometimes, at the end of our morning walk, Reggie decides he would like to visit the roof deck in our apartment building. I’m nearly always running late to get to work. I don’t have an extra 10 minutes to hang out on the roof. Then I one of Carla’s mantras from her Shine post: There’s always time to kiss the cat (or dog).

So I give him the okay and he runs up to the very top of the stairwell and waits for me to catch up. Hey, he has 4 legs.

Hurry up!

When I finally get the door open he runs around sniffing all the plants and chomps on a few of the tastier leaves. It’s like a Where’s Waldo shot.

Then he poses, giving his Blue Steel look before heading back inside. I should also take a moment to point out that I have absolutely nothing to do with the gorgeous plantings on the roof deck. If I did, the place would look like Death Valley. This is all the work of my neighbor who is a landscaper.

 

4. Kiva Update. Fabiana from Paraguay has been repaying her loan on schedule (38% repaid so far), so I had enough Kiva credit to make a new loan. For those of you not familiar, Kiva is a non-profit that connects lenders and borrowers around the world to help alleviate poverty. Through their site, you can find someone in need of a micro-loan and send a donation to fund their dreams.

This time around, I found Musoka in Kenya. She is a “dynamic entrepreneur,” 40 years old and mother of eight children, who are all in school. She sells fabric (Bitenge)  from the community market in Katindo. She started the business with her own money. This loan will enable her to buy 10 double reams of fabric (Bitenge) and make other small investments in her business. My amount is combined with others from Sweden, Romania, Switzerland, Canada, Australia, Greece and more. In a country where the average annual income is USD $119 per person, these loans help people get on their feet or expand their businesses.

Musoka is the woman on the far right with her hand raised.

 

5. The heat is on. The air conditioner that goes in my living room window is a bit of a monster. It’s heavy (for me) and awkward to place on the sill. Last year, it would have tumbled right into the alleyway below if I hadn’t quite literally caught it with one finger, nearly requiring stitches in the resulting gash.  Knowing that the city was in for a spell of hot weather, a kind neighbor  offered to install my air conditioner. (We all take the air conditioners out of the windows for the winter.) I hemmed and hawed. I’d rather have done it myself despite the obvious risks to life and limb. I didn’t want to put him out. “It’s no trouble,” he said. “It won’t take long at all.” I still hesitated. Why? What’s the big deal? He did come and it took him less than 5 minutes. In fact, we stood around talking longer than that while I thanked him about 50 times and made sure he hadn’t strained or pulled something. Do you find it difficult to ask for or accept help? 

Have a great weekend, everyone!