A few days ago, a friend and I went to the US Open in Flushing, Queens. It’s one of the four major tennis tournaments (aka Grand Slams) held each year. The world’s top players compete in increasingly difficult matches until the final determines the champion in each category (men’s, women’s and doubles). It’s an impressive display of athleticism, skill and survival of the late August New York heat and humidity. (Note to the US Tennis Association: Next year, would you kindly postpone this whole thing until October? Thank you.)
Without further ado, here are my Top Ten Reasons To Go To The US Open.
# 10. To watch the “granddaddy” 35-year-old Tommy Haas defeat young whipper-snappers who’ve never seen a wooden racket. (Also, he’s easy on the eyes.)
# 10.1. To get annoyed at every reporter who asks Tommy Haas, “So what’s it like to be one of the oldest players at the tournament?”
# 10.2. Side note: Imagine being in a profession where you are considered ancient at age 35.
# 9. To find out how much the tennis center thinks is an acceptable charge for a cheese and tomato sandwich. (Take a guess in the comments.)
# 8. To see Serena Williams lose one of her dangly earrings while serving at 125 miles per hour.
# 7. To bet how long (guess again) it will take for the Rausch family from Mineola, Long Island, to realize they aren’t at a baseball game, and therefore it is not acceptable to scream, “Come on, Julian! Serve it big!” as French player Julian Benneteau serves for match point.
# 6. To listen to aforementioned Julian Benneteau curse up a storm in French.
# 5. To hear Andy Murray squeal like a little girl on every serve.
# 4. To witness the unfortunate wardrobe malfunction of poor Jeremy Chardy who wore gauzy white shorts. Before long we could clearly see that he had worn his Tuesday underpants on Friday.
# 3. To pretend that I could beat Serena, if only I’d work on my serve a little more.
# 2. To be able to say, “So this is Queens?! Huh.”
And the number one reason I go to the US Open…
#1. To decide that I would like to have a person at my office dedicated to handing me a towel to wipe my face after I’ve sent a particularly difficult email. Said person would also be responsible for holding an umbrella over me thusly in times of inclement weather. (Know anyone who would like this job? Apply in the comments.)
Have you attended any sporting events recently? Ever been to a tennis tournament?
Have a great weekend, everyone!